The End, or, A New Beginning?



From: M
Date: Feb 28, 2004
Subject: A Goodbye Letter

Dear P,

I give up… There are a lot of things that I want to tell you, but I don’t know where to start. I just want to thank you for the friendship that was. I am not sure if I can stay friends with you because I am always expecting… assuming that we have more than friendship. I should have kept it simple, the first time you shared your thoughts… your books… your angst in life… your life… with me. I should have made myself understand that I can never have you. I may strike you as a carefree “one–of-the-boys� pare that you can ask for favors from… a girl who drinks more than you do… a girl who stopped smoking to impress you without you knowing my reasons… I may be the strong-willed individual in your eyes… I may act as if I don’t need you. But you are wrong; I wore a mask to hide my expectations, to hide my assumptions, to hide the colossal and confusing emotions building up inside me… I just want to let go of these emotions without searching for the reasons. There are questions that are simply left unanswered. I don’t want to infer with my heart, I just want to give everything up before the time comes that I am holding on to you more than I am holding on to reality… thanks for the thoughtfulness and the sincerity of your friendship…

Goodbye!!!

M

----------------- My Response -----------------

Dear M,

As I write in my Friendship Site, "The ladies I'm seeking need to possess, above all, sincerity and candour... You should be very open with your feelings as the foundation of intimacy is truth. ...I believe communication based on mutual respect and honesty is key to any relationship..."

Being transparent has its virtues.

Love is nothing but feelings. There are no reasons in love, it is purely affective. When you start having reasons, that is when you become calculative and scheming. Love is nothing like that.

It is evident you have a lot of feelings for your friend. And it appears that this may be the first time you have communicated the intensity of these feelings to him directly. Men can be so dumb sometimes. We just don't get hints easily. You just have to tell us straight.

If he requests you to reconsider, I would encourage you to do so and resolve to be more open, transparent and more sincere in your relationship with him.

It may not be time to end the relationship, but to start a new phase based on an altogether different footing...

Please come visit my Friendship Site; it may be written with much tongue-in-cheek, but it does offer much sensible ideas to consider...

take care
(",) azlan ::~~~
the AHFW guy!