MEMOIRS (Autobiographical) Confessions of a Tax Avoider
After they called me for “interview” at LHDN a few times, Income Tax finally tutop my income tax file. Apparently, psychiatric patients are treated with positive discrimination, as some sort of OKU. I told them I’m unemployable as employers discriminate against psychiatric patients once they find out. Have to keep silent about it when applying for a job, besides work is stressful and can trigger an episode, if its a major episode may need to be hospitalised for months, then get the sack. So I prefer not to work, certainly not a 9-to-5 in the rat race. Anyway, both LHDN officers who interviewed me, a mak cik and a younger man later, were very sympathetic. In fact, it was the mak cik who brought up that they should just close my file, apparently there’s some sort of provision. Oddly, they didn’t ask me for a medical report but they can see my employment record is very patchy from the income tax contributions. Oh, yes, I had to give them 2 years’ worth of all my bank account statements. That was a whole stack a few inches thick, pity them if they really went through the whole lot. Most were shuffling money from one account to another before going to the one used for paying expenses. Had to explain that all the RM30 transfers were bill payments, as I pay all my bills in quanta of RM30 to maximise my Maybank TreatPoints, not all bill payments were mine, though, many times my mom would ask me to pay her bills online for her as my mom “tak reti guna online banking” “online online ni dia tak pandai main.” She’s 85, mata pun dah rabun pernah buat operation cataract ke glaucoma, saya pun tak ingat.
Anyway, I am sure from all this, the way I dress (wear multi-colored shirt with bright floral patterns, but koyak sikit, wear clogs not shoes - they don’t allow selipar Jepun in gomen depts) and present myself (always carry IKEA blue bag with me), I must have convinced them I was at least eccentric if not got a screw or two loose, most definitely a psychiatric case.
I explained why I had four Maybank accounts:
1) Collection Account - for all money coming in. Nominally has only RM1 in the account. So that I can see if tenant already banked in sewa or not. Once in, money is transferred to Account 4, for all outgoings, transfers, payments, expenses.
Accounts 3) and 4) are joint accounts with each of my children - I keep money I hutang them there. Or money they lend me. Transfer to Account 4 for emergencies when need money to pay for something but Account 4 already kosong.
“Itu cerita Maybank. Dekat CIMB pulak saya ada 7 account,” I’d continue.
By this time, you can see their eyes already glazed over and whatever you tell them goes in one ear and comes out the other. I think they must have already decided “ini confrm orang gila” and switched off listening to cakapan orang gila but as they are polite, so just listen to humour me and not to provoke me, in case it triggers an episode.
3 savings accounts
ASB loan account
FD for credit cards
2 credit cards
Account 1 is collection account; for receiving rent from tenants who don’t use Maybank, also to receive money transferred from my Maybank account, mostly used to pay off credit cards and ASB loan.
Account 2 & Account 3 are where I keep money for next year’s mandatory big ticket items for my properties like assessment, quit rent, maintenance fees etc. I explained I pay these items in advance, one year at a go because I can’t handle the stress of paying monthly. Because if I’m hospitalised or depressed, an episode may last months, so I may miss a few payments, which will again stress me out. Saya cukop pantang kalau orang call mintak bayar hutang,stress betul.
I have to maintain an FD account for credit card, pasal tak kerja... akaun EPF pun dah tutop, withdraw habis. Then I go into a full blown rant about how the Najib regime misuses EPF money for all sorts of nonsense.
Did I see them nod in agreement? This encouraged me to launch into an another tirade.
Sebenarnya, kalau boleh, satu sen pun saya tak mahu bayar cukai pendapatan, I confessed. Their ears perked up.
That’s why I invest in non-taxable vehicles like ASB and other unit trust funds. (There is no income tax on such investment income). They seem quite sympathetic when I talk about how it upsets me that tax money is used to buy fighter jets that can’t fly, submarines that can’t dive and don’t get me started on 1MDB... By this time, I’ve already won them over but they keep quiet for fear of losing their jobs should they say anything. Are there hidden microphones in the bilik temubual, I wonder?
By this time they very bored, blurred and just wanna go home and call it a day. So, they’ll abruptly call the interview to an end...
Heard nothing from them since that last interview. No more borangs to fill, no more letters calling for interview, no phone calls.
Peace at last...
P.S.
Lest I had given the wrong impression, these pegawais at LHDN are no pushovers, they google you, know all your websites, all your YouTube and Facebook accounts - they know a lot more about you than you may think...
Copyright 2003-2018 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice Copyright 2003-2011 Azlan Adnan. This blog post is sponsored by The Green Party of Malaysia
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