A lesson to learn before you speak

In ancient Greece, scholar and intellectual, Dr. Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about one of your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Dr. Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the man.

"That's right," Dr. Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and wanted to tell it to you."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary, it is bad."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. There's one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really," replied the man.

"Well," concluded Dr. Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, and nor even useful to me, why tell it to me at all ."

A Passing Thought:
An arrow which has left the bow!; and killed an innocent soul, and a spoken-word which has come out of your mouth and hurt someone's heart, both can never be recalled.

So before you speak, please use the triple filter.

On Flirting!

I'm a Cute Flirt!



What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla




8 secrets to flirt effectively
By Dee Anne Stiles of match.com

You can see it in the alluring light of his eyes. You can feel it in her radiating smile. It's more than the mere conversation of two people meeting. It's the body's electric love signals most commonly referred to as flirting.

Flirting is dating's green light communication cue that says to the other person, "I really like you. I'm attracted to you. You hit my hot button. Let's boogie on down the dating path."

Whether on computer screens or with in-person meetings, flirting is the heart's playground to attract the right love matches. Here are eight secrets to the art of flirting:

1. Captivate with your eyes
Get and keep eye contact with the other person. Do more than just the regular eye-to-eye connection we have when talking with someone. Really look and gaze at them with captivating eyes that sexily say, "Please come closer. You're special. Let's get to know each other."

2. Smile magnetically
A big, sexy smile radiates confidence and draws people magnetically to you. It puts your flirtee at ease and safely invites him or her to talk with you. A magnetic smile is the honey of flirting that draws the bees — friends and beaus to your growing social circle.

3. Invite open conversation
There's nothing like a warm, genuine invitation to talk openly. The secret to talk flirting is to show total interest, genuine listening, back and forth flowing communication and a light-hearted, almost whimsical tone. Guys, ask how she feels about anything important in her life. Gals, have him tell you the story of his success in anything.

4. Sincerely compliment
Compliments are the sweet talk of flirting. The secrets to compliment flirting are: Be sincere, enthusiastic, and personal. If the situation warrants, guys you can tell her how beautiful she is — inside and out — and gallantly kiss her hand. Gals, compliment him on anything that has to do with jobs, sports, and physical/sexual prowess.

5. Use body language
Most communication is non-verbal body language. Here are some of flirting's secret body moves: The simple touch, leaning in toward the other person, tilting your head with interest, winking, sensuously sipping your straw or licking your lips, being in-sync with the other person's moves, and teasingly twirling things like straws, pens, even hair.

6. Ooze with interest
Act as if he or she were the most important person in your world and nothing else matters at the moment. Ooze with the allure of your undivided attention, fascination, and interest in just them. "There is nothing sexier or more complimentary than someone who flirts entranced with me and thinks I hung the moon." said Mark, a chemical engineer in Houston.

7. Get your wit going
Relax, remember a confidence building smash hit date, flip on your crazy switch, and get into your "fun and witty groove. " Open up and tell a joke or share a funny story. Keep it in good taste. Start a clever banter and teasing back and forth. Let the power of attraction inspire your wit and personality to open up, charm, laugh and have that magical fun of flirting.

8. Glow with excitement
They say the chemistry sparks may fly when two well-matched people meet, especially when they turn out to be soul mates. "When we're flirting, there's just a special glow that radiates from your smile, your eyes and your whole aura. It's as if you almost glow red with the hot rush of flirting." said Sherrie, a decorator in Miami.

The real secret to mastering the art of flirting is to find that special attraction and have fun pouring out the magnetism, heart and charm. Begin to connect with someone today online and see what happens!


Quiz: Rate your flirting form
By Elizabeth Traglia of match.com

Find out whether you're diving into the dating pool as a perfect 10, or just doing a cannonball.

When a cute stranger steps on your foot in a crowded bar, you:
• Say, "Watch it!" (Score = -1)
• Writhe in pain (Score = 4)
• Apologize (Score = 1)
• Crack a joke (Score = 3)
• Start a conversation (Score = 2)

When you meet someone you'd like to get to know better, how do you proceed?
• You pitch it as an invite to a group get-together with friends (Score = 1)
• You go direct. Something like, "I'd love to get together with you sometime." (Score = 2)
• You use an excuse: "We both like Bond - I know where Goldfinger is playing." (Score = 3)
• You give the person your number before being asked (Score = 4)
• You wait and let them ask for your number (Score = -1)

Your screen name most closely matches which category:
• Practical — maybe related to your name or city (Score = 1)
• A good conversation-starter — a hobby, nickname (Score = 2)
• A play on words that gets people laughing or thinking (Score = 3)
• Something sexy (Score = 4)
• Related to the car you drive, or to your job title (Score = -1)

At an office happy hour, you lock eyes with someone standing solo at the bar. Your move?
• Ditch your cocktail and ask them for advice on what you should order (Score = 2)
• Keep an eye peeled for an hour, to be sure they're not someone's date (Score = 1)
• Send over a margarita from across the bar (Score = 4)
• Nada. No flirting at work parties (Score = -1)
• Ask them to save you from your work party for a moment, and offer to buy that drink (Score = 3)

The best way to make someone sit up and notice you:
• Making intense eye contact (Score = 4)
• Telling a hilarious story (Score = 3)
• Acting disinterested (Score = -1)
• Being non-threatening and friendly (Score = 1)
• Asking a lot of questions and casually touching (Score = 2)

If you scored:

Less than 0
If flirting is an Olympic sport, you're going for the... wait, what's below bronze? Aluminum? When you're around a love interest, you become introverted. The problem: It gives the impression you're unhappy and disinterested — even when you may really like someone. An easy fix? Ask questions. Everyone loves talking about themselves, plus when you tune in to the answers it shows you're a great listener.

1-6
OK, time to dash an old flirting myth — when you treat someone as "just a friend," it backfires. They end up thinking of you as just a friend. Unless you commit to clear flirting signals — such as the casual arm touch, or smiling while making eye contact — your flirting form may flop. So make your interest clear, instead of leaving them wondering if you like them in that way.

7-14
Your flirting form is like that perfect martini — a great balance of style and smoothness. Your twist? Your natural curiosity about people leaves them feeling like they made a real connection. How's that for a perfect 10?

15-20
When you turn on the charm, stand back — you give it your all. The problem? Sometimes your aggressive moves may label you as a player, someone who couldn't possibly be looking for a real relationship. Slowing down to make a legitimate connection with someone would boost your success ratio in a big way.


Ways To Deal With A Flirt

Some women don't know what they want. One minute they're hot, the next they're cold. When it comes to relationships, there are no guarantees. It's a woman's right to change her mind ...and to flirt and to torture and to tease and to tease and to tease...

So if you ever find yourself stuck in the same room with a women who will only let you get so close, remember the following bits of friendly advise. They could make the chase more interesting:

-----------------
Call her Bluff
-----------------
If the girl you're interested in seems like a tease, point it out to her. Say something like, "So, does everyone tell you you're a big flirt?" Again, the key to success is doing this in the most unassuming way possible and with a smile on your face, like you're too smart for her games. It'll disarm her. And remember to call her a flirt, not a tease. Most women will find the former cute and the latter offensive.

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Know the Enemy
----------------------
Start doing what she's doing. After all, two can play that game. She might actually find the whole thing amusing. If she does, you may get the girl after all.

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Ignore Her
--------------
Don't take the bait by aggressively pursuing her. It'll just give her more reason to carry on. Ignoring a tease will sometimes make her more interested in you.

--------------------
Keep Your Cool
--------------------
Don't get your hopes up. Don't assume you're going to break a tease of her bad habits. You probably won't. Enjoy yourself, but don't expect much and you won't get disappointed.

If all else fails, and it may, start hitting on her friend. A tease occasionally needs a taste of her own medicine. It's a little vengeful, but so what? Maybe her friend will prove the better catch.

Impress her family:
7 dos and don'ts to make her family like you
By Margot Carmichael Lester

Going home for the holidays can be stressful enough. But going to her home to meet her parents? Yikes! Can you manage to steer clear of taboo topics? Can you avoid offending anyone? Will her family dig you?

"My first holiday dinner with my new girlfriend was a doozie," recalls C.D., 45, of Denver. "It was a formal affair, and she wore a strapless dress with cleavage moderately exposed. At dinner, her knife slipped from her hand and fell to the floor. We both leaned down to retrieve the fork, as one of her breasts popped out of her gown. To redirect her family's attention, I immediately stood up and said, 'Look at the magnificent view.' As the family turned, I noticed there were two dogs engaged in carnal activities in the yard. Oops. You could hear the whip cream collapsing on the pie it was so quiet."

After gathering herself together, C.D.'s girlfriend explained C.D.'s attempt to preserve her dignity. "The family began roar with laughter. Needless to say, the tension was broken, I was exonerated by the family, and from that moment I realized that I should really look before I speak, especially in the yard."

We asked other brave souls — and the women and families who love them — for dos and don'ts to help you win her family over. Here's what they had to say:

1. Be yourself
"If you try to put on some kind of act, you'll come off as forced and uncomfortable," notes John, 38, of Raleigh, N.C. "Dress like you are going on a date to a conservative place and just enjoy yourself. In the past I have gotten to be such good friends with my date's parents that I would continue to talk to them after I stopped seeing their daughter. Sometimes way after."

2. Gush over children and pets
If you don't like animals, feign an allergy. If you don't like kids, suck it up for a few days. "People love people who love their pets and children," says Jen, 32, of San Diego. "If you don't, it could spell trouble with a family like mine that's full of dogs and grandchildren."

3. Male bonding
People love to talk about themselves and rarely does anyone listen. Plus, you might pick up some good information on your sweetie. "I like to spend lots of time with the dad or brothers," says Sean, 30, of Eagle Rock, Calif. "But I don't say too much to him because dads like guys who listen."

4. Mind your manners
A little courtesy goes a long way. "I was so impressed by the way Teresa behaved when we first met her," says Sue's mom, Miriam, of Indianapolis. "She arrived exactly on time, brought a pie even though we told her she didn't need to and helped with the clean-up after dinner. She's a keeper!"

5. Use your mojo
Women love flattery — even moms. If mom likes you, you are in forever. "Moms like attention from their daughters' boyfriends," notes Zeff, 40, of Chicago. "But flirty lightly; if you lay it on too thick, it'll bring you nothing but woe!"

6. Be philosophical
You can't please all of the people all of the time, so focus on being the best you possible. "I may have been class president, but I know not everyone likes me," says Anne, 28, of Atlanta. "Not having that unrealistic expectation keeps the stress level way down. And the more relaxed I am, the better I perform."

7. Practice moderation
"Limit yourself to two drinks total — no one wants to be remembered as so- and-so's drunk date," counsels David, 40, of Washington, D.C. "This will also help you avoid discussing sensitive subjects or getting wooed into dicey situations that can lead to disagreements."

Source: http://www.match.com

On the road to the East Coast

Monday, December 15, 2003
I'm leaving for the East Coast with Emry tomorrow morning, after an unavoidable delay. Our route, the same one we took a few weeks before Ramadan, will take us east along the Karak Highway until Karak, whereupon we turn off the Highway and head north.

After passing through Bentong, Raub and Kuala Lipis, its a straight drive to Gua Musang. From there, its a dash to Kota Baru, passing Kuala Krai and Machang. Hopefully, we'll arrive in KB before nightfall.

After a night or two in Kota Baru, we'll take the old coastal road south to Kuala Trengganu where, again, we may spend a night or two. From Kuala Trengganu we continue south along the old coastal road to Kuantan, where, again, we'll stay a night or two.

At each town, Emry has to visit his customers, hand-delivering quotations, invoices or collecting cheques so we're not quite certain how long we'll be staying at each. We'll be at each town for however long he takes to get the job done. I have an appointment in KL on Saturday evening which I'm keen not to miss, plus a concert recital lunchtime Sunday.

From Kuantan, its a drive home to Kuala Lumpur via Termerloh and Mentakab, transversing the Malay Peninsular at its widest.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003
I am impressed by how clean the Bentong District Hospital is--there are rubbish recepticles everywhere--even the public toilets are to be praised. The car park is beautifully landscaped with shade trees which harbour nesting starlings chirping happily.

Intrigued, though, by a sign with a photograph of two kittens which says "DILARANG MEMBUANG KUCHING DI KAWASAN HOSPITAL"--IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ABANDON CATS WITHIN THE HOSPITAL COMPOUND. I'm sure the sign is there for a reason; and that's a sad reflection on the local community. Another sign forbids smoking--Smokers will be fined $5,000 or face 2 years in jail.

Emry was feeling hungry so we stopped at Kedai Nasi Ayam Azri--Azri Chicken Rice Restaurant--in Kuala Lipis at 2.45 pm for him to have a late lunch. I wasn't hungry so I just used the toilet facilities, which was reasonably clean although the toilet didn't flush. A hole in the floor and a tap with a bucket and pail beneath it. Another 300 km to Kota Baru.

We did a combined prayer--jamak--for asar and zohor at a surau next to the Shell Petrol Station in Gua Musang, which literally means "Fox Cave." Evocative name for a place name. The surau appears to be a commercial venture--although you can pray for free, they'll charge you 50 cents if you need to have a shower. Gua Musang is our first stop in the state of Kelantan and Kelantanese entrepreneurship hits us in the face! Felt very restful and relaxed afterwards. Glad we stopped here. We also took on some petrol--$33 for 24 litres. 185 km to Kota Baru.

From 160 km to 102 km before Kota Baru, until we crossed a bridge in the District of South Kuala Krian, the road was crap with lots of shallow potholes. Night fell at 7 pm as we reached Kuala Krian, where traffic got a lot heavier and also a light drizzle fell upon us.

Dinner was a feast at Betty's Cafe about 500 m from the UiTM Machang campus. We had steamed rice together with Kerabu Belut (eel salad), Thai roast beef salad, an omelette, chicken with ginger and red Tom Yam soup. The eel itself was nothing to shout about--hard bones and not particularly tasty but the bunga kantan (a type of ginger flower) and the daun limau perut (kaffir lime leaves) in the salad made it taste really, really good. Betty's Cafe is an excellent place to bring a date, with its cosy attap-covered cabanas nestled between banyan (Ficus variegatus) trees giving a romantic atmosphere. Unfortunately, the single toilet didn't flush and stank a bit. You know you're in rural Malaysia when the toilet is a hole in the floor and it doesn't flush. And you get a tap with a bucket and a pail. Don't grimace!

Breakfast at the Crystal Lodge in Jalan Che Su in Kota Baru is the usual hotel spread with a choice of Malaysian dishes (nasi minyak, sambal ayam, dalca) and Western fare (toast, strawberry jam and real butter--not Flora, scrambled eggs and baked beans). I'm not one for a big breakfast, so its just two slices of toast with jam for me. Didn't even go for the tea or coffee provided. Just some air sirap bandung.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003
I had seen them before in Kota Baru, but never really noticed these well-coiffeured and made-up ladies sitting on stools at a street corner outside the finance company. Their tools of trade appear to be a calculator and a handphone. They were pawn brokers, accepting gold jewelry for cash. It's an unlikely scene, but Kelantan is full of surprises. You bump into the prettiest girls on the street--if it weren't for their petite stature, these Kelantanese maidens wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of Vogue or Cosmopolitan but never Playboy or Penthouse for Kelantan is a fundamentalist State where strict religious up-bringing is the norm. It's strictly a see, but no touch society.

In the late afternoon, we headed south from Kota Baru towards, our destination for the day, Kuala Trengganu. The road was narrow and for the most part, congested. It was slow going. Along the way, we saw enterprising street hawkers selling lemang (glutenuous rice mixed with coconut milk and cooked in bamboo stems) by the roadside, their fare looking like miniature cannons. There were also signs advertising other local delicacies, such as keropok losong (fish sausages), duck curry and sop gearbox special. I have no idea what the latter (special gearbox soup) was, but it sounded intriguing enough for me to want to try it. Unfortunately, it was still too early for dinner and these places had not opened.

About 75 km from Kuala Trengganu, we turned left towards Penarik to enjoy the coastal road which runs parallel to the white sandy beaches for which Trengganu is well-known. As we had done on our previous trip, we stopped at the next village along, at Kampung Bukit Chalok, where the beach was simply beautiful, with swaying palms and a cool brisk breeze was beating waves against the shore. At the warong or food stall by the beach diagonally opposite the Caltex Petrol Station, we ate two large fried sotong (squid) garnished with kerisik (fried scraped coconut flesh). It was sweet and delicious--but not quite as sweet as the lovely young lady who served us--Sanisah has two dimples that enhances her smile and compliments her dusky--from a lifetime by the sea--complexion beautifully.

Sanisah Mokhtar holds a degree in Microbiology from UPM and is finishing up her masters in Aquaculture from KUSTM. She's doing her dissertation on the breeding of the marbled goby (ikan hantu), a freshwater fish, which at $40 to $50 a kg, is highly regarded as a delicacy. Her mother owns the warong and Sanisah helps her mom out whenever time permits.

I feel very proud of Malaysians like Sanisah, coming from a humble fishing community background and studying hard. Knowledge not only empowers her; but also helps improve the socio-economic condition of her family and rural community. But at the same time, her knowledge has not gone to her head, she has not forgotten the importance of helping her mother at the warong, serving customers with her ever-so-charming smile and speaking proper English that is a little incongruent in a fishing village. When she finishes her masters, I'm sure she'll come back to her fishing village, helping her fellow villagers earn a steady income through breeding marbled gobies, even in the monsoon season, when it's too rough for the fishing boats to go out to sea. At 24, Sanisah's still single and, as soon as she completes her masters, will be seeking…

Thursday, December 18, 2003
Breakfast at the Yen Tim Midtown Hotel in Kuala Trengganu was a bit of a disappointment; certainly, there was less of a choice than at the Crystal Lodge in Kota Baru. There was nasi lemak with sambal, ikan bilis, peanuts and hard-boiled eggs. The rest were nothing special, nothing worth writing about, in any case.

The Internet Cafe was conveniently across the road from the Yen Tim Midtown Hotel but at $3 an hour, it's $1 more than the Internet Cafe in Kota Baru.

We were on the road again by 3 pm. The car park of the Kemaman District Hospital is in the blazing sun, with the half-grown green palms giving no shade to speak of. I doubt the green palms would have given any decent shade, even when fully grown. The public toilets at the hospital are reasonably clean--no stink and the flush works. However, its users are a bit ngok, preferring to throw their waste paper towels on the floor rather than the waste bins provided.

I was saddened to note that although it was 4 pm, the privatized canteen--run by Lie's Catering--was already closed. I could have done with some teh tarik and bubur kacang. Ah, well. But Emry consoled me--he knew of an excellent seafood restaurant in Balok (near Kuantan) called Mido Restoran that would satisfy my gourmet taste buds.

Stopped at a batik shop in Rantau Abang. I needed a long-sleeved batik shirt to wear on formal occasions as I don't have one or a baju Melayu either, for that matter. I asked for something my size in the cheapest material, preferably cotton. Unfortunately, nothing in cotton in my size, but there was a beautiful turquoise shirt in polyester for $65. I told the owner's husband that I was a poor student and he reduced the price to $50 just for me, provided I don't tell anyone.

Also got two pieces of hand-drawn batik for some lady friends. One had specifically requested a pastel piece and so I got her one in pastel shades of pink, yellow and orange. The other was mostly bright green for a dear young lady. She needs a bright colour to compliment her dusky complexion and that was just the right shade to do the job. (Later, when I told Maria I got her a piece of hand-drawn batik in green, she was delighted as green is her favourite colour.)

The proprietor soon joined us and she told me that she also owned the 8 chalets next door. She implored us to stay at her place the next time we dropped by. Rates start at $27 a night.

Later, at Marang, we passed warungs with signs that advertised sata or satar, which Emry described as a kind of otak-otak only found in this area. Apparently, it is sweeter than regular otak-otak and contained more kerisik and less fish. By the time I made up my mind to try some, there were no more warungs selling it. Just my luck, I suppose.

There is a stretch of road in Trengganu, before one crossed the border into Pahang that one can find roadside stalls selling nira. Nira is a fascinating drink. Mildly alcoholic, it is derived from the beaten flower of the coconut palm. One climbs the coconut palm, beats the flower to a pulp and places a container beneath it to collect the sweet sap that drips from the mashed flowers. Nira tastes of sugar-cane water. Because of the time taken (usually about three days) for sufficient sweet sap to collect in the container, it has fermented and is mildly alcoholic. Not as alcoholic as toddy, which is a decidedly disgusting concoction, but enough to give a mild buzz to its taste. I drank 500 ml with no apparent loss of my senses.

The mak ciks (little old ladies) who sell nira by the roadside also sell homemade vinegar made from nira and the sap of the nipah palm. The one derived from the nipah sap is pretty decent, but the one made from nira smells of strong toddy more than anything else.

Unfortunately, when we arrived in Balok at 4.30 pm, Mido Restoran was closed; the time being too late for lunch and too early for dinner. We both hadn't had lunch yet and our tummies were growling, so we stopped at the first decent-looking place. The only thing they served was nasi ayam (chicken rice). It didn't tickle my fancy but Emry went for it. It was a food court kind of a place with various hawkers supposed to be selling food and the landlord selling drinks. There was a sign advertising Yong Tau Foo but they'll only start selling their stuff in three days, I was informed. Fat lot of good that was. I settled for some toast with kaya (coconut jam) as well as some teh tarik.

Just as we had settled the bill and were about to leave another of the hawkers arrived. She sold nasi lemak, nasi minyak, and nasi dagang. The last item caught my fancy and I had a plate--for only $1.50. It was delicious, as tasty as the nasi dagang my mom makes. Nasi dagang is rice mixed with pulut (glutenous rice) and halba and served with a mild ikan tongkol (tuna) curry and pickles (mostly cucumber but also juliennes of carrot and sliced onions). It was delicious, and the best thing you could eat for $1.50 anywhere on the East Coast.

The Citiview Kuantan is the first hotel on this trip to have a proper bath-tub--the rest just had showers. It felt luxurious to soak away my aches and pains in the bath. Unfortunately, the water was merely warm and although I did my best, it wouldn't go beyond 30°C. Better than nothing, I suppose.

Friday, December 19, 2003
The toilet at the Petronas station in Jalan Teluk Sisek, opposite the Vistana Hotel in Kuantan, is by far the filthiest I had come across in the East Coast. It had no water, was dirty, and stinks to high heaven. The water closet and urinal both didn't flush. A peep into the ladies revealed that it was not much better.

Opposite the Citreon dealership along main road in Temerloh is an unassuming food court. One of the stalls, run by Mrs Heng for the past 18 years, sells the best grilled fish I have tasted in Malaysia, save Sabah. The fishes available are ikan pari (skate), ikan sebelah (sole), ikan kembong (mackerel), siakap (sea perch) and kerapu (garoupa). Tiger prawns and sotong (calamari) are also available. Mrs Heng dips the fresh fish into a marinade which is made from freshly ground red chilis and kunyit (a type of ginger) mixed with some rice flour. After thoroughly soaking the fish in the dip, she places it on a hotplate that has been covered with a layer of banana leaves and generously drizzled with cooking oil. Mrs Heng tells me that the secret of her cooking technique is to not cover the fish (except for the skate) or prawns at all. The calamari are covered for a few minutes only. Covering the fish, she tells me, would trap the steam and allow the fish to cook faster. However, this steams the fish, and it loses it crispy texture and grilled taste. (See my review of the Portuguese Ikan Bar of November 30, 2003. )

While its cooking, the fish is not smothered with sambal. In fact, nothing is added except for cooking oil. The fish is served with two condiments, a sambal belacan made from red chilis, belacan, vinegar and lime juice; and an air asam made from lime juice, tamarind juice, sugar, salt, bawang merah (shallots) and chili padi. The sole costs $10, the small skate $6 and the smallest serving of tiger prawns would set you back another $15. While not exactly the most disgusting toilet on the East Coast, the less said about their toilet, the better.

Mrs Heng informed me that her husband runs a similar grilled fish stall near the Maybank office 10 km away in Mentakab.

Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

Friendship, like all relationships, develops on the basis of shared experiences. But sharing does not mean abdicating one's own interests, or exchanging them for your partner's.

Azlan Adnan

It is said that love is blind
but friendship is clairvoyant.

Falling for You
contributed by Melissa, a song by Weezer

Holy cow! I think I've got one here
Now just what am I s'posed to do?
I've got a number of irrational fears
That I'd like to share with you
First, there's rules about old goats like me
Hangin' 'round with chicks like you -but I do like you-
And another one: you say "like" too much

But I'm shakin' at your touch
I like you way too much
My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you
'n I'd do 'bout anything to get the hell out alive
Or maybe I would rather settle down with you

Holy moly, baby, wouldn't you know it?
Just as I was bustin' loose
I gotta go turn in my rock star card and get fat
and old with you
'cuz I'm a burning a candle you're a gentle moth
teaching me to lick a little bit kinder
And I do like you - you're the lucky one
No! I'm the lucky one
Holy Sweet goddamn! You left your cello in the basement
I admired the glowing the stars and tried to play a tune'
I can't believe how bad I suck, it's true
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3-chord me?
But it's true - you like me, I like you too
I'm ready, let's do it baby

13 torrid kissing techniques
by Sara Kinnarney, Match.com

Every summer we awaken senses that had lain dormant during the cooler months. The smell of suntan lotion, the feel of warm wet sand oozing between our toes, the sound of crickets and the sight of a warm breeze billowing a sheer summer dress. Sun-kissed bodies look sexier, and the kisses are oh-so-much sweeter.

No doubt about it: Mother Nature is eliciting some powerful aphrodisiacs, which is why summer is a great time to practice some red-hot kissing techniques.

"Torrid kissing is the #1 thing that keeps motors running," says Lou Paget (www.loupaget.com), author of How to Be a Great Lover, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure and The Big O. Orgasms: How To Have Them, Give Them and Keep Them.

"What torrid kissing shows is that the person is interested in you and turned on by you. Could there be any bigger aphrodisiac than that? Plus kissing well sends a message that you do other things well?"

Here are some of Paget's hottest kissing strategies.

Tread lightly. Your lips are one of the softest parts of your body, so start kissing with light, gentle motions.

The kiss can become firmer as your temperatures rise. Have a cup of hot tea before you start smooching. Warming up your mouth will make it even more inviting.

Suck his lower lip into your mouth, running the tip of your tongue along the outside of the lip. Then run it straight down from the middle lip to the chin. "Men have been known to almost loose their knees with this," says Paget, who explains that there is an energy meridian that flows from the lower lip southward.

Don't restrict yourself to the mouth. Instead go for unexpected places, like the insides of elbows or knees. "Babies explore the entire world with their mouth," says Paget. "Why wouldn't we as adults? Any spot that is not regularly exposed to sunshine is typically going to be more sensitive."

Avoid the tongue-in-ear move. This might excite some men, but Paget says that for most women, "it feels like putting your head in a dishwasher."

Alternate upper and lower lips to give each the attention it deserves.

If his kiss is feeling more like a tongue-wrestling match, then stop, look him in the eye and tell him how much you love kissing. Then say, "God, I'd love to know how it feels to be kissed by me." Kiss him the way you want to be kissed and pray that he can follow suit.

Practice the gentle art of non-verbal communication. Put your hands at the back of the neck and cradle the back of your partner's head. This will enable you to pull yourself in more, make her more comfortable, and offer gentle directions. A hand on the cheek also sends a warm, loving message while enhancing communication.

Breathe deeply. Small noises and deep breathes will give your lover lots of great positive feedback and will actually enhance your pleasure. "Oxygen is the ultimate catalyst--whether you're talking about fire or physical chemistry," says Paget.

Don't turn your mouth into a suction cup. Paget says that many men forget how much bigger their mouths are than women's. "So the guy will envelop his date's mouth, which will cause the woman to pull back," she says.

Arch your back. "When someone is kissing you, they want to know that they are doing it in a way that turns you on. If a woman arches her body into a man, that lets him know," says Paget.

Next time, make it a tangerine kiss. Remember the flavored lip gloss you used to wear in the 7th grade--the kind that came in ginger ale, watermelon and bubble gum? Well, they're still around and there's no reason that your current boyfriend can't enjoy the sweet taste of nectarine on your lips the same way your Sadie Hawkins date did. "It's so fun, especially if you have a whole little wardrobe of flavors and you can ask him to guess what they are," says Paget, who recommends flavors that come in light shades, like orange or vanilla. Leave the chocolate-fudge ripple to your eight-year-old niece.

Suck your lover's upper lip. Then gentle place your tongue underneath the upper lip so that your tongue is between his teeth and upper lip. (Your tongue will be in a reversed-L shape, like you are touching your nose.) Gently run your tongue left to right so that he feels the soft underside of your tongue. "It's not a big motion," says Paget. "The big ones are not the ones that drive us crazy--it's the little ones."

You can't pass up an opportunity to try out what you've learned! Put them to practical use and make somebody very happy!

Note: More on this topic at Kissing Techniques

LET ME BE THE BANDAGE FOR YOUR BLEEDING
contributed by Michelle Anne Paigey

Let me be the bandage for your bleeding;
Let me be the ocean for your tears.
Let me be the secret of your healing;
Let me be the song to still your fears.

Love isn't love that cannot love in darkness,
Nor is it love that turns away from pain;
Nor would I love would I not hold your sadness
And with my love your love of life sustain.

So do not think your malady a burden,
And do not think my willingness deceit.
Just let your sorrow flow into my garden,
And I will share with you the harvest sweet.

ON AFFECTION

Alexander Solzhenitsyn on Affection:
"One should never direct people towards happiness, because happiness too is an idol of the market-place. One should direct them towards mutual affection. A beast gnawing at its prey can be happy too, but only human beings can feel affection for each other, and this is the highest achievement they can aspire to."

Enid Bagnold on Affection:
"It's not till sex has died out between a man and a woman that they can really love. And now I mean affection. Now I mean to be fond of (as one is fond of oneself)--to hope, to be disappointed, to live inside the other heart. When I look back on the pain of sex, the love like a wild fox so ready to bite, the antagonism that sits like a twin beside love, and contrast it with affection, so deeply unrepeatable, of two people who have lived a life together (and of whom one must die) it's the affection I find richer. It's that I would have again. Not all those doubtful rainbow colours."

Friendship
by Cheryl Izatty


If a kiss were a raindrop I'd send you showers.
If hugs were a second I'd send you hours.
If smiles were water I'd send you the sea.
If friendship were a person I'd send you me!

On Friendship & Love
Friendship is a disinterested commerce between equals;
love, an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves.

~ Oliver Goldsmith ~

CYNICAL LOVE POEMS

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme
with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:


Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in, to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

I Guess it's Nothing but a Serious Case of Jealousy

I got a rude and nasty hate-mail today from a guy who, I guess, is jealous of all the wonderful Friends I have--you!

I suppose he, too, wishes he has all of you as his Friends.

I'm not going to bother to reply to his msg. After all, his intense jealousy is a vindication of how successful we've been in establishing friendships with each other--a back-handed compliment, if you will.

No need to lower myself to his level and tell you who he is, even. Don't even have to caution you not to befriend him. After all, all of you are intelligent enough to know a jerk when you see one. That's one of the reasons we're such good Friends. And I suppose he's so jealous because all of you are so drop-dead gorgeous, in addition to being so damn smart. I think this is the bit that really "gets" him.

We can play into his hands and get upset and make a mountain out of a molehill. Or, we can simply ignore him and carry on our friendship as usual. I know that will make him even more jealous. But, hey, that's his problem, yeah?

warm regards
Azlan

Source: Posted at my myspace.com Bulletin today.