Najib Razak tried to sodomise me last night

Najib Razak tried to sodomize me last night. Luckily, Rosmah Mansor came to the rescue, putting on a strap-on dildo and sodomizing her husband instead. I had diarrhea and shat over the both of them. I went to Brickfields Police Station to make a police report and statutory declaration but the station already demolished... Then, I woke up. Pyrexia from election fever does funny things to the mind!