Edifying Stuff from Singapore

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is
broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and
enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.
She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She
repeated, "PUB."

There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line,
she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the
number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it
is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the
couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead
of "PUB."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a
successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The
father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her
shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind
that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a
better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are
afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he
would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.

This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we
point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at
ourselves.

If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage,
Social Development Unit (SDU), and requested
"I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a
suitable one."

The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking,
polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing.
Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour,
if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need
television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a
blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the
faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of
the wife.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of
love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed
of roses.

The nightmare begins.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,
or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will
conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after
marriage.

Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which
carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a
river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing
the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our
expectations...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "a speech
will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off
because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,
we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything
without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.

A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember
me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her
millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise
you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You
should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the
millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be
another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On
the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride
on the donkey?"

Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey.

He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The
husband is the head of family.

How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?"
Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on
the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How
can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no
gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you
hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."

Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the
donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only
choice left.

Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled.
They lost their balance and fell into the river.

You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn
you.

Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is
clear...

--------------------------------------------------------------------
BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States.

A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his
puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into
the shiny paint of the truck.

The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's
hands into pulp as punishment.

When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he
finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.

When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked,
"but when are my fingers going to grow back?"

The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the
next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think
first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be
repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.

Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and
the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the
actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget.

Love one and all.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Thank you for your time reading this.

This email, including any attachments, is confidential and for use only by
intended recipient(s) for the purpose for which it has been sent. Its
contents may be privileged and if you are not the intended recipient of this
email, you must not use, disseminate, print or copy this email or any part
of it or take any action in reliance on it. If you have received this email
in error, please contact the sender immediately by return email or telephone
and delete/destroy the message.

We do not accept liability for any corruption, delay, interception or
unauthorized amendment of the e-mail or their consequences.