Monday, January 09, 2006

World's Oldest Quran


Tashkent's hidden Islamic relic
By Ian MacWilliam
BBC News, in Tashkent

In an obscure corner of the Uzbekistan capital, Tashkent, lies one of Islam's most sacred relics - the world's oldest Koran.


It is a reminder of the role which Central Asia once played in Muslim history - a fact often overlooked after seven decades of Soviet-imposed atheism.

The library where the Koran is kept is in an area of old Tashkent known as Hast-Imam, well off the beaten track for most visitors to this city.

It lies down a series of dusty lanes, near the grave of a 10th century scholar, Kaffel-Shashi.


The Mufti of Uzbekistan, the country's highest religious leader, has his offices there, in the courtyard of an old madrassa.

Just across the road stands a non-descript mosque and the equally unremarkable Mui-Mubarak, or "Sacred Hair", madrassa, which houses a rarely seen hair of the Muslim Prophet Muhammad, as well as one of Central Asia's most important collections of historical works.

"There are approximately 20,000 books and 3000 manuscripts in this library," said Ikram Akhmedov, a young assistant in the mufti's office.

"They deal with mediaeval history, astronomy and medicine. There are also commentaries on the Koran and books of law. But the oldest book here is the Othman Koran from the seventh century."

Sacred verses
The Othman Koran was compiled in Medina by Othman, the third caliph or Muslim leader.

Before him, the sacred verses which Muslims believe God gave to Muhammad were memorised, or written on pieces of wood or camel bone.

To prevent disputes about which verses should be considered divinely inspired, Othman had this definitive version compiled. It was completed in the year 651, only 19 years after Muhammad's death.
This priceless Koran is kept in a special glass-fronted vault built into the wall of a tiny inner room.

About one-third of the original survives - about 250 pages - a huge volume written in a bold Arabic script.

"The Koran was written on deerskin," said Mr Akhmedov. "It was written in Hejaz in Saudi Arabia, so the script is Hejazi, similar to Kufic script."

It is said that Caliph Othman made five copies of the original Koran. A partial Koran now in the Topkapi Palace in Istanbul is said to be another of these original copies.

Historical text

Othman was murdered by a rebellious mob while he was reading his book. A dark stain on its pages is thought to be the caliph's blood.

It was Othman's murder that precipitated the Shia-Sunni divide which has split the Muslim world ever since.

Later disputes over the succession led to a division between the mainstream Sunnis, and supporters of Othman's immediate successor, Ali, who became Shias.

The story of how the Othman Koran came to Tashkent is a remarkable one.

After Othman's death it is believed it was taken by Caliph Ali to Kufa, in modern Iraq. Seven hundred years later, when the Central Asian conqueror, Tamerlane, laid waste to the region, he found the Koran and took it home to grace his splendid capital, Samarkand.

It stayed there for more than four centuries, until the Russians conquered Samarkand in the 1868. The Russian governor then sent the Othman Koran to St Petersburg where it was kept in the Imperial Library.

But after the Bolshevik revolution, Lenin was anxious to win over the Muslims of Russia and Central Asia. Initially he sent the Koran to Ufa in modern Bashkortostan.

But finally, after repeated appeals from the Muslims of Tashkent, it was returned once more to Central Asia in 1924. It has remained in Tashkent ever since.

Visiting dignitaries from the Muslim world often turn up to see the Othman Koran in the depths of old Tashkent, so it is odd that it is still kept in such an out of the way location.

But the authoritarian Uzbek government has inherited a Soviet-era distrust of Islam, and still views much of its own Islamic history with suspicion.

The mufti's official religious establishment is closely watched and takes care not to attract too much attention to itself.

As a result, its greatest treasure, the world's oldest Koran, continues to sit quietly in the medieval quarter of old Tashkent.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/asia-pacific/4581684.stm

Published: 2006/01/05 12:48:12 GMT

© BBC MMVI

Suicide Bomber

London bombs inspire Indian film
By Zubair Ahmed
BBC News, Mumbai


One of Bollywood's leading producers, Mahesh Bhatt, is making a film inspired by last year's London bombings.

The film, Suicide Bomber, is about a disenchanted British Asian Muslim from Bradford and is set in the UK and India.

Mahesh Bhatt says his film will seek to spread the message that Islam is a religion of peace and compassion.

Bhatt has a reputation for making films on controversial subjects and will direct the film himself.

He says he thought of making the film in the aftermath of the 11 September attacks on New York's World Trade Center "when Islam was being projected as a barbaric faith in the West".

"As I have understood Islam, it's a religion of peace. It talks about mercy and compassion," he says.

The account of a young British Asian Muslim, whose suicide mission failed, following the July 7th suicide bombings... inspired me to do a film on the subject

Mahesh Bhatt

Bhatt blames the US for terrorism and suicide bombings in the Islamic world.

He says that through his film he wants to demonstrate that "state terrorism by the West is the root cause of the birth of a suicide bomber".

"In my film, suicide bombers will be shown to be defaming true Islam," he adds.

'Radical Muslim'

The film is centred around a young British Asian Muslim, living in Bradford, who is out on a suicide bombing mission.

"We all heard the account of a young British Asian Muslim, whose suicide mission failed, following the 7 July suicide bombings.

"His account inspired me to do a film on the subject."

Bhatt's protagonist subscribes to a radical ideology to kill himself and others in the name of Allah.

But he fails in his mission and flees to India where circumstances lead to him beginning to question suicide bombings.

The lead role will be played by Bhatt's 21-year-old son, Rahul.

Filming will start in July and it will be ready for release in December.

Bhatt, who is known to speak out on issues close to his heart, has been a staunch opponent of the war in Iraq.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/4584610.stm

Published: 2006/01/05 15:42:24 GMT

© BBC MMVI

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The new Jaguar XK Convertible



Click on the photograph above to go to the New Jaguar XK website.

Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Friday, December 30, 2005

On Google, Googol and Googolplex

In 1938, the American mathematician Edward Kasner (1878-1955) asked his nine-year-old nephew Milton Sirotta to invent a name for a very large number, ten to the power of one hundred; and the boy called it a googol.

Kasner, Adrian Professor of Mathematics at Columbia University, announced the concept in his book Mathematics and the Imagination. He thought this was a number to overflow people's minds, being bigger than anything that can ever be put into words. Another mathematician then shot back with Googolplex, and defined it to be 'ten to the power of googol', proving poor old Edward wrong in an instant.

1 googol = 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

A googol is equal to ten duotrigintillion.

To give you an idea of its gargantuan enormity, a googol is greater than the number of particles in the known universe, which has been variously estimated from 'ten to the power of 72' up to 'ten to the power of 87'.

Since a 'googol plus 1' is the number of digits in a googolplex, it would therefore not be possible to write down or store the digits of a googolplex in decimal notation, even if all the matter in the known universe were converted into paper and ink or disk drives.

Googolplex is the second largest number with a name. The distinction of being the world's largest number with a name goes to googolplexian: a "1" followed by a googolplex of zeros.

Well, that was the case until I invented the azlanplex which is a "1" followed by a googolplexian of zeros. And then I invented the azlanplexian which is a "1" followed by an azlanplex of zeros.

The Internet search engine Google was named as a pun on the number googol. The original founders were going for 'Googol', but ended up with 'Google' due to a spelling mistake. Larry Page: "Lucas Pereira: 'You idiots, you spelled 'Googol' wrong!' But this was good, because google.com was available but googol.com was not. Now most people spell 'Googol' 'Google', so it worked out OK in the end."

Except for one tiny problem: Kasner's great-niece, Peri Fleisher, is suing Google.com, insisting that the US-based company has gained financially at the expense of the family. She said: "If we do have a legal right, we're certainly going to exercise that. And now is the time."

However, experts in intellectual property said that bringing a successful legal action would be problematic. "It would be an uphill struggle to try to assert any legitimate claim," said David Gourlay, a senior associate at the Dundas and Wilson Technology Group.

Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

XL Condoms

A hot babe enters a pharmacy and shyly asks the sales assistant:

"Where do you display your Extra Large condoms?"

After being shown the section, she thanks the sales assistant and heads to the display.

After several hours, the young lady still hasn't made a purchase and so the sales assistant comes over and asks:

"Miss, have you decided which one to purchase?" to which she answers:

"Actually, I have no intention of making a purchase at all. I just want to meet the guys who buy them!"


Kondom XL
Seorang wanita muda yang cantik dengan malu-malu bertanya serta berbisik pada penjual sebuah pasaraya:

"Cik, bahagian yang jual kondom XL di mana?"

Setelah ditunjukkan dan mengucapkan terima kasih dia pun menuju ke bahagian tersebut.

Setelah beberapa jam, wanita tersebut tidak juga memilih salah satu kondom tersebut, maka penjual tadi bertanya ;

"Akak mahu pilih yang mana?"

Wanita itupun segera menjawab,

"Ooo... sebenarnya saya tidak mahu beli. Saya cuma ingin berkenalan dengan orang yang akan membeli kondom ini."

Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Risk Management for the Home

Here's a good reason to seriously consider Home Contents Insurance this time of year:

Holiday Season Safety Information
Avoid Fire Hazards This Holiday Season

The Arlington Fire Department Has Safety Instructions


Christmas trees, lights and candles help make the holiday bright. Local fire officials say they can also cause fire hazards in the home.

Each year in the United States, there are more than 12,000 candle-related fires that result in 150 deaths, 1,200 injuries and an estimated $173 million in property loss, according the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Christmas trees are a primary cause in most residential fires.

Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Psychic Computer

Hi! Check this site out... it's very fascinating!

The Psychic Computer

It certainly freaked me out.

Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Single-storey Terrace House for Rent

Single-storey terrace house for rent in Kota Warisan (two minutes' drive to Salak Tinggi ERL station), available immediately.

Rent going for RM350 excluding bills.

The house has three rooms but the landlord can only let you have two as she needs one to keep all her barang-barang. She has extensively renovated the house and it comes fully furnished.

Preferrably open-minded, working professionals please. Especially strategic for aircrew as Kota Warisan is just next door to KLIA. Also suitable for government servants working in Putrajaya as there is now a toll-free four-lane highway that takes only 10-15 minutes to get there via Dengkil.

If interested or know of someone who is, send me a msg here or email to Azlan at azlan088@gmail.com

many thanks guys

warm regards

Azlan
019-282 9526


Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Apartment for Rent

Third-storey apartment for rent in Kota Warisan (two minutes' drive to Salak Tinggi ERL station), available March 1, 2006.

Rent going for RM400 excluding bills and monthly RM55 maintenance fee.

The apartment has three rooms with front-door and kitchen grilles, curtain railings, and has ample parking space.

Preferrably open-minded, working professionals please. Especially strategic for aircrew as Kota Warisan is just next door to KLIA. Also suitable for government servants working in Putrajaya as there is now a toll-free four-lane highway that takes only 10-15 minutes to get there via Dengkil.

If interested or know of someone who is, send me a msg here or email to Azlan at azlan088@gmail.com

many thanks guys

warm regards

Azlan
019-282 9526


Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Monday, December 26, 2005

Furnished Room to Let





Two fully furnished bedrooms in third-storey Villa Impian apartment in Kota Warisan (2 minutes' drive to Salak Tinggi ERL station), available for immediate occupancy.

1) Larger bedroom has lovely lace curtains, pangkin, fan, stainless steel clothes hook behind door, computer table - come see for yourself lah. Rent going for RM250 ~ single occupancy. RM300 ~ double occupancy (non-negotiable) including maintenance fee, water and electricity. THIS ROOM ALREADY TAKEN ~ NO LONGER AVAILABLE!

2) Smaller bedroom has lovely lace curtains, bed, fan, stainless steel clothes hook behind door - come see for yourself lah. Rent going for RM200 ~ single occupancy. RM250 ~ double occupancy (non-negotiable) including maintenance fee, water and electricity. STILL AVAILABLE FOR RENT!

Share the bathroom with the room next to yours. Other common facilities include 29-inch TV, Bose radio/CD player, DVD player, parking space, stove, fridge, kettle, rice-cooker, blender.

Click here for Location Map.

Unique Features of Property:
Breath-taking views of green rolling hills and spectacular sunsets, three minutes' drive from Salak Tinggi KLIA Transit ERL station, two minutes' drive from primary school (SK Kota Warisan), Pasar Malam Kota Warisan every Saturday from 5 pm to 11 pm.
24 hrs security guard.

Preferably open-minded, working professionals please. Suitable for airline crew as next to KLIA. If interested or know of someone who is, call Azlan 019-282 9526 for appointment to view.

Azlan Adnan
019-282 9526


Copyright 2003-2008 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

A View from the Eye of the Storm

by Haim Harari, Chair, Davidson Institute of Science Education.
Past President, Weizmann Institute of Science

Talk delivered by Haim Harari at a meeting of the International Advisory Board of a large multi-national corporation, April, 2004:

"As you know, I usually provide the scientific and technological "entertainment" in our meetings, but, on this occasion, our Chairman suggested that I present my own personal view on events in the part of the world from which I come.

I have never been and I will never be a Government official and I have no privileged information. My perspective is entirely based on what I see, on what I read and on the fact that my family has lived in this region for almost 200 years. You may regard my views as those of the proverbial taxi driver, which you are supposed to question, when you visit a country.

I could have shared with you some fascinating facts and some personal thoughts about the Israeli-Arab conflict. However, I will touch upon it only in passing. I prefer to devote most of my remarks to the broader picture of the region and its place in world events. I refer to the entire area between Pakistan and Morocco, which is predominantly Arab, predominantly Moslem, but includes many non-Arab and also significant non-Moslem minorities.

Why do I put aside Israel and its own immediate neighborhood? Because Israel and any problems related to it, in spite of what you might read or hear in the world media, is not the central issue, and has never been the central issue in the upheaval in the region.

Yes, there is a 100 year-old Israeli-Arab conflict, but it is not where the main show is.

The millions who died in the Iran-Iraq war had nothing to do with Israel.

The mass murder happening right now in Sudan, where the Arab Moslem regime is massacring its black Christian citizens, has nothing to do with Israel.

The frequent reports from Algeria about the murders of hundreds of civilian in one village or another by other Algerians have nothing to do with Israel.

Saddam Hussein did not invade Kuwait, endangered Saudi Arabia and butchered his own people because of Israel.

Egypt did not use poison gas against Yemen in the 60's because of Israel.

Assad the Father did not kill tens of thousands of his own citizens in one week in El Hamma in Syria because of Israel.

The Taliban control of Afghanistan and the civil war there had nothing to do with Israel.

The Libyan blowing up of the Pan-Am flight had nothing to do with Israel, and I could go on and on and on.

The root of the trouble is that this entire Moslem region is totally dysfunctional, by any standard of the word, and would have been so even if Israel had joined the Arab league and an independent Palestine had existed for 100 years.

The 22 member countries of the Arab league, from Mauritania to the Gulf States, have a total population of 300 millions, larger than the US and almost as large as the EU before its expansion.

They have a land area larger than either the US or all of Europe.

These 22 countries, with all their oil and natural resources, have a combined GDP smaller than that of Netherlands plus Belgium and equal to half of the GDP of California alone.

Within this meager GDP, the gaps between rich and poor are beyond belief and too many of the rich made their money not by succeeding in business, but by being corrupt rulers.

The social status of women is far below what it was in the Western World 150 years ago.

Human rights are below any reasonable standard, in spite of the grotesque fact that Libya was elected Chair of the UN Human Rights commission.

According to a report prepared by a committee of Arab intellectuals and published under the auspices of the U.N., the number of books translated by the entire Arab world is much smaller than what little Greece alone translates.

The total number of scientific publications of 300 million Arabs is less than that of 6 million Israelis.

Birth rates in the region are very high, increasing the poverty, the social gaps and the cultural decline.

And all of this is happening in a region, which only 30 years ago, was believed to be the next wealthy part of the world, and in a Moslem area, which developed, at some point in history, one of the most advanced cultures in the world.

It is fair to say that this creates an unprecedented breeding ground for cruel dictators, terror networks, fanaticism, incitement, suicide murders and general decline. It is also a fact that almost everybody in the region blames this situation on the United States, on Israel, on Western Civilization, on Judaism and Christianity, on anyone and anything, except themselves.

A word about the millions of decent, honest, good people who are either devout Moslems or are not very religious but grew up in Moslem families: They are double victims of an outside world, which now develops Islamophobia and of their own environment, which breaks their heart by being totally dysfunctional.

The problem is that the vast silent majority of these Moslems are not part of the terror and of the incitement, but they also do not stand up against it. They become accomplices, by omission, and this applies to political leaders, intellectuals, business people and many others. Many of them can certainly tell right from wrong, but are afraid to express their views.

The events of the last few years have amplified four issues, which have always existed, but have never been as rampant as in the present upheaval in the region.

A few more years may pass before everybody acknowledges that it is a World War, but we are already well into it.

These are the four main pillars of the current World Conflict, or perhaps we should already refer to it as "the undeclared World War III":

1. The first element is the suicide murder.

Suicide murders are not a new invention but they have been made popular, if I may use this _expression, only lately. Even after September 11, it seems that most of the Western World does not yet understand this weapon. It is a very potent psychological weapon. Its real direct impact is relatively minor. The total number of casualties from hundreds of suicide murders within Israel in the last three years is much smaller than those due to car accidents. September 11 was quantitatively much less lethal than many earthquakes More people die from AIDS in one day in Africa than all the Russians who died in the hands of Chechnya-based Moslem suicide murderers since that conflict started. Saddam killed every month more people than all those who died from suicide murders since the Coalition occupation of Iraq.

So what is all the fuss about suicide killings? It creates headlines. It is spectacular. It is frightening. It is a very cruel death with bodies dismembered and horrible severe lifelong injuries to many of the wounded. It is always shown on television in great detail. One such murder, with the help of hysterical media coverage, can destroy the tourism industry of a country for quite a while, as it did in Bali and in Turkey.

But the real fear comes from the undisputed fact that no defense and no preventive measures can succeed against a determined suicide murderer. This has not yet penetrated the thinking of the Western World. The U.S. and Europe are constantly improving their defense against the last murder, not the next one. We may arrange for the best airport security in the world. But if you want to murder by suicide, you do not have to board a plane in order to explode yourself and kill many people. Who could stop a suicide murder in the midst of the crowded line waiting to be checked by the airport metal detector? How about the lines to the check-in counters in a busy travel period? Put a metal detector in front of every train station in Spain and the terrorists will get the buses. Protect the buses and they will explode in movie theaters, concert halls, supermarkets, shopping malls, schools and hospitals. Put guards in front of every concert hall and there will always be a line of people to be checked by the guards and this line will be the target, not to speak of killing the guards themselves. You can somewhat reduce your vulnerability by preventive and defensive measures and by strict border controls but not eliminate it and definitely not win the war in a defensive way. And it is a war!

What is behind the suicide murders? Money, power and cold-blooded murderous incitement, nothing else. It has nothing to do with true fanatic religious beliefs. No Moslem preacher has ever blown himself up. No son of an Arab politician or religious leader has ever blown himself.

No relative of anyone influential has done it. Wouldn't you expect some of the religious leaders to do it themselves, or to talk their sons into doing it, if this is truly a supreme act of religious fervor? Aren't they interested in the benefits of going to Heaven? Instead, they send outcast women, naïve children, retarded people and young incited hotheads. They promise them the delights, mostly sexual, of the next world, and pay their families handsomely after the supreme act is performed and enough innocent people are dead.

Suicide murders also have nothing to do with poverty and despair.

The poorest region in the world, by far, is Africa. It never happens there. There are numerous desperate people in the world, in different cultures, countries and continents. Desperation does not provide anyone with explosives, reconnaissance and transportation. There was certainly more despair in Saddam's Iraq than in Paul Bremmer's Iraq, and no one exploded himself. A suicide murder is simply a horrible, vicious weapon of cruel, inhuman, cynical, well-funded terrorists, with no regard to human life, including the life of their fellow countrymen, but with very high regard to their own affluent well-being and their hunger for power.

The only way to fight this new "popular" weapon is identical to the only way in which you fight organized crime or pirates on the high seas: the offensive way.

Like in the case of organized crime, it is crucial that the forces on the offensive be united and it is crucial to reach the top of the crime pyramid. You cannot eliminate organized crime by arresting the little drug dealer in the street corner. You must go after the head of the "Family".

If part of the public supports it, others tolerate it, many are afraid of it and some try to explain it away by poverty or by a miserable childhood, organized crime will thrive and so will terrorism.

The United States understands this now, after September 11.Russiais beginning to understand it. Turkey understands it well. I am very much afraid that most of Europe still does not understand it. Unfortunately, it seems that Europe will understand it only after suicide murders arrive in Europe in a big way. In my humble opinion, this will definitely happen. The Spanish trains and the Istanbul bombings are only the beginning. The unity of the Civilized World in fighting this horror is absolutely indispensable. Until Europe wakes up, this unity will not be achieved.

2. The second ingredient is words, more precisely lies.

Words can be lethal. They kill people. It is often said that politicians, diplomats and perhaps also lawyers and business people must sometimes lie, as part of their professional life. But the norms of politics and diplomacy are childish, in comparison with the level of incitement and total absolute deliberate fabrications, which have reached new heights in the region we are talking about. An incredible number of people in the Arab world believe that September 11 never happened, or was an American provocation or, even better, a Jewish plot.

You all remember the Iraqi Minister of Information, Mr. Mouhamad Said al-Sahaf and his press conferences when the US forces were already inside Baghdad. Disinformation at time of war is an accepted tactic. But to stand, day after day, and to make such preposterous statements, known to everybody to be lies, without even being ridiculed in your own milieu, can only happen in this region. Mr. Sahaf eventually became a popular icon as a court jester, but this did not stop some allegedly respectable newspapers from giving him equal time. It also does not prevent the Western press from giving credence, every day, even now, to similar liars.

After all, if you want to be an anti-Semite, there are subtle ways of doing it. You do not have to claim that the holocaust never happened, and that the Jewish temple in Jerusalem never existed. But millions of Moslems are told by their leaders that this is the case. When these same leaders make other statements, the Western media report them as if they could be true.

It is a daily occurrence that the same people, who finance, arm and dispatch suicide murderers, condemn the act in English in front of western TV cameras, talking to a world audience, which even partly believes them. It is a daily routine to hear the same leader making opposite statements in Arabic to his people and in English to the rest of the world. Incitement by Arab TV, accompanied by horror pictures of mutilated bodies, has become a powerful weapon of those who lie, distort and want to destroy everything.

Little children are raised on deep hatred and on admiration of so-called martyrs, and the Western World does not notice it because its own TV sets are mostly tuned to soap operas and game shows. I recommend to you, even though most of you do not understand Arabic, to watch Al Jazeera, from time to time. You will not believe your own eyes.

But words also work in other ways, more subtle. A demonstration inBerlin, carrying banners supporting Saddam's regime and featuring three-year old babies dressed as suicide murderers, is defined by the press and by political leaders as a "peace monstration". You may support or oppose the Iraq war, but to refer to fans of Saddam, Arafat or Bin Laden as peace activists is a bit too much. A woman walks into an Israeli restaurant in mid-day, eats, observes families with old people and children eating their lunch in the adjacent tables and pays the bill. She then blows herself up, killing 20 people, including many children, with heads and arms rolling around in the restaurant. She is called "martyr" by several Arab leaders and "activist" by the European press. Dignitaries condemn the act but visit her bereaved family and the money flows.

There is a new game in town: The actual murderer is called "the military wing", the one who pays him, equips him and sends him is now called "the political wing" and the head of the operation is called the "spiritual leader". There are numerous other examples of such Orwellian nomenclature, used every day not only by terror chiefs but also by Western media. These words are much more dangerous than many people realize. They provide an emotional infrastructure for atrocities. It was Joseph Goebels who said that if you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it. He is now being outperformed by his successors.

3. The third aspect is money.

Huge amounts of money, which could have solved many social problems in this dysfunctional part of the world, are channeled into three concentric spheres supporting death and murder.

In the inner circle are the terrorists themselves. The money funds their travel, explosives, hideouts and permanent search for soft vulnerable targets. The inner circles are primarily financed by terrorist states like Iran and Syria, until recently also by Iraq and Libya and earlier also by some of the Communist regimes. These states, as well as the Palestinian Authority, are the safe havens of the wholesale murder vendors.

They are surrounded by a second wider circle of direct supporters, planners, commanders, preachers, all of whom make a living, usually a very comfortable living, by serving as terror infrastructure.

Finally, we find the third circle of so-called religious, educational and welfare organizations, which actually do some good, feed the hungry and provide some schooling, but brainwash a new generation with hatred, lies and ignorance. This circle operates mostly through mosques, madrasas and other religious establishments but also through inciting electronic and printed media. It is this circle that makes sure that women remain inferior, that democracy is unthinkable and that exposure to the outside world is minimal. It is also that circle that leads the way in blaming every-body outside the Moslem world, for the miseries of the region. The outer circle is largely financed by Saudi Arabia, but also by donations from certain Moslem communities in the United States and Europe and, to a smaller extent, by donations of European Governments to various NGO's and by certain United Nations organizations, whose goals may be noble, but they are infested and exploited by agents of the outer circle. The Saudi regime, of course, will be the next victim of major terror, when the inner circle will explode into the outer circle. The Saudis are beginning to understand it, but they fight the inner circles, while still financing the infrastructure at the outer circle.

Figuratively speaking, this outer circle is the guardian, which makes sure that the people look and listen inwards to the inner circle of terror and incitement, rather than to the world outside. Some parts of this same outer circle actually operate as a result of fear from, or blackmail by, the inner circles. The horrifying added factor is the high birth rate. Half of the population of the Arab world is under the age of 20, the most receptive age to incitement, guaranteeing two more generations of blind hatred.

Some of the leaders of these various circles live very comfortably on their loot. You meet their children in the best private schools in Europe, not in the training camps of suicide murderers. The Jihad "soldiers" join packaged death tours to Iraq and other hotspots, while some of their leaders ski in Switzerland. Mrs. Arafat, who lives in Paris with her daughter, receives tens of thousands of dollars per month from the allegedly bankrupt Palestinian Authority, while a typical local ringleader of the Al-Aksa brigade, reporting to Arafat, receives only a cash payment of a couple of hundred dollars, for performing murders at the retail level.

4. The fourth element of the current world conflict is the total breaking of all laws.

The civilized world believes in democracy, the rule of law, including international law, human rights, free speech and free press, among other liberties. There are naïve old-fashioned habits such as respecting religious sites and symbols, not using ambulances and hospitals for acts of war, avoiding the mutilation of dead bodies and not using children as human shields or human bombs. Never in history, not even in the Nazi period, was there such total disregard of all of the above as we observe now. Every student of political science debates how you prevent an anti-democratic force from winning a democratic election and abolishing democracy. Other aspects of a civilized society must also have limitations. Can a policeman open fire on someone trying to kill him? Can a government listen to phone conversations of terrorists and drug dealers? Does free speech protects you when you shout "fire" in a crowded theater? Should there be death penalty, for deliberate multiple murders? These are the old-fashioned dilemmas. But now we have an entire new set.

Do you raid a mosque, which serves as a terrorist ammunition storage? Do you return fire, if you are attacked from a hospital? Do you storm a church taken over by terrorists who took the priests hostages? Do you search every ambulance after a few suicide murderers use ambulances to reach their targets? Do you strip every woman because one pretended to be pregnant and carried a suicide bomb on her belly? Do you shoot back at someone trying to kill you, standing deliberately behind a group of children? Do you raid terrorist headquarters, hidden in a mental hospital? Do you shoot an arch-murderer who deliberately moves from one location to another, always surrounded by children? All of these happen daily in Iraq and in the Palestinian areas. What do you do? Well, you do not want to face the dilemma. But it cannot be avoided.

Suppose, for the sake of discussion, that someone would openly stay in a well-known address in Teheran, hosted by the Iranian Government and financed by it, executing one atrocity after another in Spain or in France, killing hundreds of innocent people, accepting responsibility for the crimes, promising in public TV interviews to do more of the same, while the Government of Iran issues public condemnations of his acts but continues to host him, invite him to official functions and treat him as a great dignitary. I leave it to you as homework to figure out what Spain or France would have done, in such a situation.

The problem is that the civilized world is still having illusions about the rule of law in a totally lawless environment. It is trying to play ice hockey by sending a ballerina ice-skater into the rink or to knock out a heavyweight boxer by a chess player. In the same way that no country has a law against cannibals eating its prime minister, because such an act is unthinkable, international law does not address killers shooting from hospitals, mosques and ambulances, while being protected by their Government or society. International law does not know how to handle someone who sends children to throw stones, stands behind them and shoots with immunity and cannot be arrested because he is sheltered by a Government. International law does not know how to deal with a leader of murderers who is royally and comfortably hosted by a country, which pretends to condemn his acts or just claims to be too weak to arrest him.


The amazing thing is that all of these crooks demand protection under international law, and define all those who attack them as "war criminals," with some Western media repeating the allegations.

The good news is that all of this is temporary, because the evolution of international law has always adapted itself to reality. The punishment for suicide murder should be death or arrest before the murder, not during and not after. After every world war, the rules of international law have changed, and the same will happen after the present one. But during the twilight zone, a lot of harm can be done.

The picture I described here is not pretty. What can we do about it? In the short run, only fight and win. In the long run - only educate the next generation and open it to the world. The inner circles can and must be destroyed by force.

The outer circle cannot be eliminated by force. Here we need financial starvation of the organizing elite, more power to women, more education, counter propaganda, boycott whenever feasible and access to Western media, internet and the international scene. Above all, we need a total absolute unity and determination of the civilized world against all three circles of evil

Allow me, for a moment, to depart from my alleged role as a taxi driver and return to science. When you have a malignant tumor, you may remove the tumor itself surgically. You may also starve it by preventing new blood from reaching it from other parts of the body, thereby preventing new "supplies" from expanding the tumor. If you want to be sure, it is best to do both.

But before you fight and win, by force or otherwise, you have to realize that you are in a war, and this may takeEuropea few more years.

In order to win, it is necessary to first eliminate the terrorist regimes, so that no Government in the world will serve as a safe haven for these people.

I do not want to comment here on whether the American-led attack on Iraq was justified from the point of view of weapons of mass destruction or any other pre-war argument, but I can look at the post-war map of Western Asia. Now that Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya are out, two and a half terrorist states remain: Iran, Syria an Lebanon, the latter being a Syrian colony. Perhaps Sudan should be added to the list. As a result of the conquest of Afghanistan and Iraq, both Iran and Syria are now totally surrounded by territories unfriendly to them. Iran is encircled by Afghanistan, by the Gulf States, Iraq and the Moslem republics of the former Soviet Union. Syria is surrounded by Turkey, Iraq, Jordan and Israel. This is a significant strategic change and it applies strong pressure on the terrorist countries. It is not surprising that Iran is so active in trying to incite a Shiite uprising in Iraq. I do not know if the American plan was actually to encircle both Iran and Syria, but that is the resulting situation.

In my humble opinion, the number one danger to the world today is Iran and its regime. It definitely has ambitions to rule vast areas and to expand in all directions. It has an ideology, which claims supremacy over Western culture. It is ruthless. It has proven that it can execute elaborate terrorist acts without leaving too many traces, using Iranian Embassies. It is clearly trying to develop nuclear weapons. Its so-called moderates and conservatives play their own virtuoso version of the "good-cop versus bad-cop" game Iran sponsors Syrian terrorism, it is certainly behind much of the action in Iraq, it is fully funding the Hezbollah and, through it, the Palestinian Hamas and Islamic Jihad, it performed acts of terror at least in Europe and in South America and probably also in Uzbekistan and Saudi Arabia and it truly leads a multi-national terror consortium, which includes, as minor players, Syria, Lebanon and certain Shiite elements in Iraq. Nevertheless, most European countries still trade with Iran, try to appease it and refuse to read the clear signals.

In order to win the war it is also necessary to dry the financial resources of the terror conglomerate. It is pointless to try to understand the subtle differences between the Sunni terror of Al Qaeda and Hamas and the Shiite terror of Hezbollah, Sadr and other Iranian inspired enterprises. When it serves their business needs, all of them collaborate beautifully.

It is crucial to stop Saudi and other financial support of the outer circle, which is the fertile breeding ground of terror. It is important to monitor all donations from the Western World to Islamic organizations, to monitor the finances of international relief organizations and to react with forceful economic measures to any small sign of financial aid to any of the three circles of terrorism.

It is also important to act decisively against the campaign of lies and fabrications and to monitor those Western media who collaborate with it out of naivety, financial interests or ignorance.

Above all, never surrender to terror. No one will ever know whether the recent elections in Spain would have yielded a different result, if not for the train bombings a few days earlier. But it really does not matter. What matters is that the terrorists believe that they caused the result and that they won by driving Spain out of Iraq. The Spanish story will surely end up being extremely costly to other European countries, including France, who is now expelling inciting preachers and forbidding veils and including others who sent troops to Iraq. In the long run, Spain itself will pay even more.

Is the solution a democratic Arab world?

If by democracy we mean free elections but also free press, free speech, a functioning judicial system, civil liberties, equality to women, free international travel, exposure to international media and ideas, laws against racial incitement and against defamation, and avoidance of lawless behavior regarding hospitals, places of worship and children, then yes, democracy is the solution.

If democracy is just free elections, it is likely that the most fanatic regime will be elected, the one whose incitement and fabrications are the most inflammatory. We have seen it already in Algeria, and to a certain extent, in Turkey. It will happen again, if the ground is not prepared very carefully. On the other hand, a certain transition democracy, as in Jordan, may be a better temporary solution, paving the way for the real thing, perhaps in the same way that an immediate sudden democracy did not work in Russia and would not have worked in China.

I have no doubt that the civilized world will prevail. But the longer it takes us to understand the new landscape of this war, the more costly and painful the victory will be. Europe, more than any other region, is the key. Its understandable recoil from wars, following the horrors of World War II, may cost thousands of additional innocent lives, before the tide will turn."

Copyright 2003-2006 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Friday, December 16, 2005

Vincent

Artist: Vincent van Gogh
The Starry Night
June 1889 (Oil on Canvas, 72 x 92 cm (29 x 36 1/4 in); The Museum of Modern Art, New York

The Starry Night was completed near the mental asylum of Saint-Remy, 13 months before Van Gogh's death at the age of 37. Vincent's mental instability is legend. He attempted to take Paul Gauguin's life and later committed himself to several asylums in hopes of an unrealized cure.

Van Gogh painted furiously and The Starry Night vibrates with rockets of burning yellow while planets gyrate like cartwheels. The hills quake and heave, yet the cosmic gold fireworks that swirl against the blue sky are somehow restful.

This painting is probably the most popular of Vincent's works.Artist: Don McLean
Song: Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The End

One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed and that it was time to move on.

A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note.

At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the driver's seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it.

"Without your love, I would die."

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Is this your mobile phone number?

1) key-in the first 3 digits of your handphone number (not the 01x number) into a calculator, OR
1a) IF YOU HAVE AN 8-DIGIT HANDPHONE NUMBER, key-in the first 4 digits of your handphone number into a calculator (Singaporeans, listen up!)
2) multiply by 80
3) add 1
4) multiply by 250
5) plus last four digits of your phone number
6) plus last four digits of your phone number again
7) minus 250
8) divide by 2 at last

Is it your mobile phone number?

AMAZING ISN'T IT?

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

A depressed man

There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I overslept this morning, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in a fit of rage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a taxi to return home and when I leave my office, I remember I had left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, and steeling myself to finally do it, you show up and drink my poison."

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Friday, December 09, 2005

Beware of these Women!

beware of scambeware of scambeware of scam
beware of scambeware of scambeware of scam
beware of scambeware of scambeware of scam

About these women:
ANY emails you send or receive from the person you see in the photo, DO NOT go to, or come from that person. They come from another person, A SCAMMER who uses photos such as these to "entice" men into sending money. The scam itself is the: TRANSLATION/CONNECTION scam in which the girl falls in love with you, very quickly, with 3 or 4 MOSTLY PRE-WRITTEN emails, each with a sexy/pretty photo, that actually come from the scammer, pretending to be the person you see, THEN after you're "hooked," YOU WILL RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING THAT HER ACCOUNT IS OVER and to continue to contact her, you will have to PAY HER AGENCY. THIS SCAM is popular amongst RUSSIAN and UKRANIAN scammers that use escorts pics to perpetrate the scam. THERE ARE MANY MORE JUST LIKE IT ON THIS SITE AND OTHER SITES. WARNING: DO NOT SEND MONEY, OR YOU WILL BE TAKEN. If you do send money, you will never hear from the "girl" anyway because the scammer will have already gotten what he/she came for, YOUR MONEY. Or, the scammer WILL keep responding, keep charging you the small fee for letters, then initiate the VISA/TRAVEL scam, which will COST YOU HUNDREDS OR THOUSANDS to have the girl come to you, or you to her. IN EITHER CASE, YOU WILL NEVER REALLY SEE THE GIRL IN REAL LIFE.

REFER TO THIS SITE FOR SUBSTANTIATION:
http://www.anti-scam.org/scenario.html

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Rate Me!

at www.hotornot.com



Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Latest Credit Card Scam/Ploy

WARNING... CREDIT CARD SCAM. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY.

This information is worth reading.

By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.

One of our employees was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "MasterCard".

The scam works like this:

Person calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify.

This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona?"

When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?"

"You say yes". The caller continues - "I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?"

Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your card". He/She will ask you to "turn your card over and look for some numbers". There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers' that verify you are the possessor of the card.

These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card.

(NOTE: The callers will not ask for your card number; they already have it. What they need however, are the Security Numbers on the back of the card. Don't fall for it.)

The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, "That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?"

After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number.

But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did!

The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card. Long story made short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account.

VISA is reissuing us a new number.

What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card!

If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost to late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.

What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of Master Card" with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening. Please pass this on to all your family and friends. By informing each other, we protect each other."

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

An Irish Wish for You!

May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Chicken Surprise!

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the Chicken Surprise. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He didn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two beady little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. "Please sir," says the waiter, "What you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah... so solly," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck!"

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Ah Beng Jokes

Act 1)
Ah Beng calls the telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Singapore and New York?"
Operator: "Just a minute..."
Ah Beng: "Thank you."
Ah Beng got his answer and cut off the line.

Act 2)
At a bar in New York, the man sat next to Ah Beng told the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion said, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender turned to Ah Beng and asked, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah Beng replied: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."

Act 3)
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 MONTHS to do it," Ah Beng said. "FIVE MONTHS? Why did you take so long?" the friend asked. Ah Beng replied, "No, it is not long at all, look at the box, it says it is for 4 to 7 years."

Act 4)
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. After a few attempts, he decided to use the 'Help' command. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer shop for support. Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me..."

Act 5)
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!" "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to the other ear?" Ah Beng: "That stupid fellow called back again loh!"

Act 6)
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends? Because according to the advertisement, below 18 is not allowed to go in.

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Largest in the animal kingdom



Just for the record, in case you were wondering, unless someone can show me a photograph of a whale's penis.


Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Monday, December 05, 2005

The perfect man

The perfect man loves you for you and not just one tiny part.
The perfect man would sacrifice everything for you.
The perfect man isn't afraid to tell you the truth.
The perfect man is kind, sweet, funny, and loving.
The perfect man can make you crumble with one glance.
The perfect man can make you feel unlike you've ever felt before.
The perfect man knows he's perfect, but won't ever admit it.
The perfect man has a smile that lights up a room.
The perfect man will admit when he's wrong.
The perfect man won't admit when he's right.
The perfect man would never say anything that makes you feel like less of a person.
The perfect man has his beliefs, but would never force them on you.
The perfect man will sit with you when you don't feel like dancing.
The perfect man will know when to take your hand.
The perfect man will know when he loves you but won't tell you until he's sure he means it.
The perfect man will make you want to be a better person.
The perfect man does not exist.

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I love you

= "gihigugma tikaw" (Bisaya)
= "obicham te" (Bulgarian)
= "ngor oi lay" (Cantonese)
= "miluji te" (Czech)
= "Ik hou van jou" (Dutch)
= "ana bahebak kawry" (Egyptian)
= "I love you" (English)
= "mita kuuluu" (Finnish/Suomi)
= "je t'aime" (French)
= "Ich liebe dich" (German)
= "szeretlek" (Hungarian)
= "ti amor" (Italian)
= "es tevi milu" (Latvian)
= "kia ora" (Maoritanga)
= "ku cinta mu" (Malay)
= "wak ai knee" (Mandarin)
= "tumse pyar ha" (Pakistani)
= "kocham Cie" (Polish)
= "Eu te amo" (Portuguese)
= "lublju ciebia" (Russian)
= "te quiero" (Spanish)
= "mama oyata ardare" (Sri Lankan)
= "mahal kita" (Tagalog)
= "nann unni kathalickiren" (Tamil)
= "phom rak khun" (Thai)
= "maih tum saih payar karta ho" (Urdu)


with many thanks to all my international girlfriends who contributed to this little project (you know who you are!)

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The Dress (and other rhymes)

The Dress
There once was a dress, none were fairer!
Appearance improved with its wearer.
On a girl it looked hot,
on a male it did not,
but certainly no sight was rarer!


Dangerously in Love
You took my heart and ran away
Forever in my heart you'll stay
No matter what you intend to do
I'm going to keep on loving you...


Love Always
She was my North, my South, East and West
She was my working week and my Sunday rest
My noon, my midnight, my talk and my song
I thought that love would last forever
I was wrong...
Nor Alnaim HArun


Riena Kangkang
Gula Prai, gula Melaka
dari Teluk Kandih ke Kajang
Betina sundal, penuh celaka
untuk wang sanggup bertelanjang

Dari Bukit Jelutong ke Tanjung Karang
dengan Khalifah, Azri dan sesiapa lagi
Sanggup berzina untuk wang
macam mana kau boleh jadi begini?

Penipu besar, berperangai curang
untuk wang mudah kangkang
Setelah puas lepas miang
kepada Jeff, bekas suamimu, kau pulang


Gutter Trash
Gutter trash with a pretty face
with the looks of an angel, but what a waste,
your slutty behaviour's such a disgrace
such a liar, in my heart you have no place.


Goodbye, My Love...
If you leave me, I won't cry,
I won't waste a single day,
But if you leave, don't look back;
I'll be running the other way.


if i'm not in love with you
by Tonette, December 12, 2005

If I'm not in love with you,
Then why do I hurt?
I ached with the pain of having to feel
And knowing what I have is just a dream
Though it seems that I'm stoned with this
Even my friend thinks it's just a bliss.
What right do I have to claim?
A man I know who won't feel the same.
He seems to be what I know of life...
The reason that I aimed to survive.
With you I've learned to love again...
To pick up the pieces...
Torn and broken.
If to love you was to hurt this much...
I'll allow my heart to bleed as such.
And with this tear that's falling now
Every drop of it is a relief...
I guess... somehow.
If I'm not in love with you...
Then why do I have to cry?
Explain it to my heart...
That's been crying all night.
I pretended to be blind...
When I saw you with her.
I now for that moment it isn't fair.
I'm just a lass who fell in love...
With someone who again I could never have.
I know now...
that to love is to hurt.
to feel its pain...
'til it tears you apart.
to let you realize...
to only love and never expect...
to bleed with the feeling...
to be numb 'til it hurts not...
to cry 'til you run dry...
to give up...
to let go...
and to never ask why.


Starting Over
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone


Moving On
People laugh while others cry,
some give up while others try.
Always try to do your best,
don't care about anything else.


Waiting for Love
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
And do they know
the places where we go
when we're grey and old?
'Cos running through my head
I feel that love is dead


The Truth about Girls
Girls don't like boys,
girls like cars and money...
The girls with hot bodies
like boys with Ferraris


Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Difference Between Rich and Poor People...

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night..

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

"Life is too short and friends are too few."

N.B. Many thanks go to Iraida G. T. Dungo for kindly sharing this piece with us.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

People in our Lives

Author Unknown
Dedicated to Nor Alnaim Harun


Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are, or who you might want to become.

You never know who these people may be, possibly your roommate, neighbour, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger. You know at the moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but, on reflection, you find that without overcoming these obstacles you would have never realized your potential, your strength, your willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance, or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they probably provide the most poignant and important lessons.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things that you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love...

Break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life, then go out and live it.



~ The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Why Worry? Be Happy!

There are only two things in life to worry about:

Whether you are well
or whether you are sick.

If you are well,
then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick,
there are only two things to worry about:

Whether you are going to get well
or whether you are going to die.

If you get well,
then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die,
there are only two things to worry about:

Whether you are going to go to heaven
or whether you are going to go to hell.

If you go to heaven,
then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell,
you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends,
that you won't have time to worry!

So, Why Worry?

Be Happy

Do not cry if the Sun sets at the end of the day, because the tears will not let you enjoy the beauty of the Stars.

"If you cry because you can't see the sun, your tears will keep you from seeing the stars" ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile!



Counteract Worry With Faith
You can actually make worry work for you. If worry attacks you, you may as well make use of it. Instead of letting worry be destructive turn it into a constructive use. Worry is an energy, a form of energy. When you worry you are using energy destructively. When you are practising faith you are using energy constructively. So make worry work for you. Make it work for you by letting it make you think straight.

To think straight is one of the greatest powers of a human being. God gave each of us a mind to use and to use properly. I believe it is as though He says to every individual, "I gave you a mind, and with it you can solve any problem you will ever have to face, and I will make you equal to anything through your mind." But if we worry the mind gets off balance. It gets hot and it will not correlate when it is hot. It needs to be cool, rational, in order to work well. So if now today, corporately and individually, we have the problem of worry and fear, the way to handle it, and to make worry work for us, is to tell ourselves that it is high time we did some sound thinking.
~ Dr Norman Vincent Peale, 1961


Every tomorrow has two handles: the handle of anxiety & the handle of faith.
Woe to the person who grabs hold of tomorrow by the wrong handle.
~ Sara

Thursday, November 24, 2005

As You Travel Through Life...

Author Unknown
Dedicated to Nor Alnaim Harun with the message:
You are just one person in the world, but to me you are the world!
Friends forever...



As you travel through life there are always those times
When decisions just have to be made,
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce,
And the rain seems to soak your parade.

There are some situations where all you can do
Is simply let go and move on,
Gather your courage and choose a direction
That carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward ~
The process of change can be tough,
But think about all the excitement ahead
There might be adventures you never imagined
Just waiting around the next bend,
And wishes and dreams just about to come true
In ways you can't yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new things
As you challenge your status quo,
And learn there are so many options in life,
Perhaps you'll go places you never expected
And see things that you've never seen,
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds
And wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring
And somebody special who's there
To help you stay centered and listen with interest
To stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
Are supportive of all that you do,
And believe that whatever decisions you make,
They'll be the right choices for you.

So keep putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day...
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road ~
Don't look back! You're not going that way!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Ever wonder what the common thread is between the most successful people in the world?

Lou Castillo and Anthony Robbins have spent many years studying successful people and they've found that there are four main steps to becoming and staying successful.

1) Have a compelling reason
2) Making decisions in a heartbeat
3) Taking massive action
4) Emulating successful people

Over the years they've written several books and articles about this simple but important topic.

Why?

Simply because they truly believe that being successful is a learned skill not a born trait. Anyone can be successful if they work smart and take massive action.

Please read the following quotes that Lou Castillo has pulled together over the years. People have been teaching these same principles for hundreds of years for one simple reason: it's the truth!

I hope at least one of these great quotes will inspire you to take your next successful step towards greatness!

"Determine never to be idle... It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing."
~ Thomas Jefferson

"There are risks and costs to a program of action. But there are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction."
~ John F. Kennedy

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe."
~ Marilyn vos Savant

"To will is to select a goal, determine a course of action that will bring one to that goal, and then hold on to that action till the goal is reached. The key is action."
~ Michael Hanson

"While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior."
~ Henry C. Link

"An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides."
~ John H. Patterson

"Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you're not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were."
~ David Rockefeller

Make DECISIONS IN A HEARTBEAT to take MASSIVE ACTION!

Decide to take the necessary steps to increase your business. Decide to make the next 30 days amazing.

Best of success and abundance,

Azlan Adnan

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Good Reads

If you're in need for some good reads for the coming holidays, do check out the autobiographical fiction, health articles, recipes and business articles that can be found at:

www.lulu.com/azlan


Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Albrecht Durer

THE STORY BEHIND THE PICTURE OF THE PRAYING HANDS

Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade and any other paying chore he could find in the neighbourhood.

Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of Albrecht Durer the Elder's children had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent For art, but they knew full well that their father would never be Financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the Academy.

After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines.

They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer won The toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.

When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honoured position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfil his ambition. His closing words were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you." All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No..no ...no ...no."

Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced Down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look ...look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother ... for me it is too late."

More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolors, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. More than merely being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home or office.

One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The Praying Hands."

The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Let it be your reminder,if you still need one, that no one - no one - - ever makes it alone!

Moral:- Behind every masterpiece there is toil and hard work by a team - no one can ever make it alone and hence team spirit is very very essential.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

NOVEMBER 15, 2005

AKAN DIBUKA NOV 15, 2005
POS MINI KOTA WARISAN

6 Jalan Airport City 2
(berhampiran Stesen ERL KLIA Transit Salak Tinggi)
43950 SEPANG



PERKHIDMATAN YANG DISEDIAKAN

Perkhidmatan Pos Malaysia (bermula 15hb Nov 2005)
Kedai Alatulis (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Am, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Hayat, AIA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Perkhidmatan Jualbeli Hartanah (disediakan sekarang)
Pembaruan Insuran Kereta, dan Cukai Jalan (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Perjalanan, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Kemalangan Diri, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Perubatan, AIA/AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Penyakit Kritikal, AIA/AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insurance Kebakaran, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Kandungan Rumah, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Berkait-Pelaburan, AIA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Perancang Harta Islam, as-Salihin Trustee Berhad
Pinjaman Rumah Kadar Tetap (faedah 6.25%) (disediakan sekarang)

Sila telefon 019-28-AZLAN 019-28-29526 untuk membuat mendapatkan keterangan selanjutnya. Tiada obligasi!

Pengusaha: AZLAN ADNAN 019-28-AZLAN 019-28-29526


JAWATAN KOSONG

1. Kerani Pos Mini
2. Jurujual Kedai Alatulis
3. Pelatih Insuran Am
4. Wakil Insuran Hayat

Untuk temuduga sila hubungi
Encik Azlan Adnan
Pos Mini Kota Warisan, 6 Jalan Airport City 2
Kota Warisan, 43950 SEPANG
Tel 019-28-AZLAN 019-28-29526

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Monday, October 10, 2005

Stationery Shop Now Open at Kota Warisan

Pos Mini Kota Warisan
(opening after Raya)
Stationery Shop & Insurance Agency open now!
6 Jalan Airport City 2
Airport City Business Centre
Kota Warisan
43950 SEPANG
Manager: Azlan Adnan
Tel: 019-28-AZLAN
Tel: 019-28-29526

SERVICES PROVIDED
Postal Services, Pos Malaysia (commencing after Hari Raya)
Stationery supplies (available now)
General Insurance, AHA/AIG (available now)
Life Insurance, AIA/AIG (available now)
Real Estate Services (available now)
Car Insurance, AHA/AIG and Road Tax Renewal (available now)
Travel Insurance, AHA/AIG (available now)
Personal Accident Insurance, AHA/AIG (available now)
Medical Insurance, AIA/AHA/AIG (available now)
Critical Illness Insurance, AIA, AHA/AIG (available now)
Fire Insurance, AHA/AIG (available now)
Home Contents Insurance, AHA/AIG (available now)
Investment-Linked Insurance, AIA/AIG (available now)
Islamic Estate Planning, as-Salihin Trustee Berhad (available now)
Fixed Rate (6.25% interest) Home Loans, AIA/AIG (available now)

Please call 019-28-AZLAN for a free consultation on our insurance and financial planning services. No obligations!

PERKHIDMATAN YANG DISEDIAKAN
Perkhidmatan Pos Malaysia (bermula selepas Hari Raya)
Pekakas Alatulis (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Am, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Hayat, AIA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Perkhidmatan Jualbeli Hartanah (disediakan sekarang)
Pembaruan Insuran Kereta, dan Cukai Jalan (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Perjalanan, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Kemalangan Diri, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Perubatan, AIA/AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Penyakit Kritikal, AIA/AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insurance Kebakaran, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Kandungan Rumah, AHA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Insuran Berkait-Pelaburan, AIA/AIG (disediakan sekarang)
Perancang Harta Islam, as-Salihin Trustee Berhad
Pinjaman Rumah Kadar Tetap (faedah 6.25%) (disediakan sekarang)

Sila telefon 019-28-AZLAN untuk membuat temujanji mendapatkan keterangan selanjutnya. Tiada obligasi!


Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan

Hello Friends!

AL-QAYYUM,
AL-MAJID,
AL-WAHID,
AL-WAJID,
AL-AHAD,
AL-SAMAD,
AL-QADIR,
Please send this seven names of allah to seven people, [INSYALLAH] your one wish will be fulfilled.

1 Minute for Allah

Step 1:

Say with your heart and tongue:

*SUBHANA'LLAH

*ALHAMDULI'LLAH

*LA I LAHA ILLA'LLAH

*ALLAHU AKBAR

*ASTAGHFIRU'LLAH

*LA ILAH ILLA'LLAH, MUHAMMADUN RASULU'LLAH

*ALLAHUMMA SALLY WA SALLEM WABAREK ALA SAYYEDINA MUHAMMAD

Step 2:

Contemplate in their meaning sentence by sentence and word by word

Step 3:

Forward this email onto at least seven other people

Result 1:

Within hours you have caused a multitude of people to remember, praise and glorify The Almighty ALLAH

Result 2:

Within hours you have caused a multitude of people to Salute, pray for and glorify the Prophet (P.B.U.H.)

Result 3:

Within hours at least seven people would have prayed for you with Angels saying AMEEN, INSHA'A'LLAH

NOW... Sit back and watch the power of ALLAH work in your life for doing the thing that you know HE loves.

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Please donate blood during Ramadan


Please donate blood during Ramadan
~ there's always a shortage every year.
The blood banks are open in the evenings during Ramadan.


Photo Caption: A first-time donor donating whole blood on Sept 26, 2005 at Pusat Darah Negara.
I donated platelets that day. I have also donated whole blood and plasma ~ altogether a total of 37 times already!


Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Mental health situation in Malaysia

On mental health, the Malaysian Health Ministry's Parliamentary Secretary, Lee Kah Choon, said the level of awareness of the problem among Malaysians was worrying with statistics showing that on average, seven people with mental stress committed suicide daily.

Last year alone, over 2,000 people took their own lives and most of them resorted to that extreme option due to lifestyle changes, he said.

He said studies had also shown that every suicide caused mental anguish to 20 other family members.

"We want Malaysians to be aware of the importance of taking care of their mental health because physical health will be meaningless if the person is mentally unwell," he said. Malaysians, he said, should take care of their mental health and consult psychiatrists or counsellors if problems they faced caused pressures to their lives.

Lee said depression should be considered a dangerous illness and those experiencing it should quickly seek specialist treatment to prevent them from committing undesirable actions.

He said 27 hospitals with 85 psychiatrists and 56 counsellors nationwide presently provided psychiatric service to people with such problems.

"Besides, 754 Health Clinics also render services to safeguard mental health and until to 2004, 40 family health specialists and 135 medical assistants have also been trained to help treat people with depression," he said.

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Pantun Budak Jahat

by Maliesa

Found this tragic love poem on the Internet. I like it because it reiterates why we should express our feelings to those we love on a daily basis. When you keep your feelings to yourself, you deny both yourself and your loved one of the truth and sometimes its too late to tell them you love them as you may never get the chance again...


Hari tu kita gaduh
Saya main-main
Awak ingat betul-betul
Tak tau nak buat macam mana lagi
Lantak awak lah

Semalam kita berselisih...
Saya buat dunno
Awak pandang saya
Saya buat dunno jugak
Degilnya saya...

Saya nampak awak
Saya nak panggil
Tapi awak tak toleh
Sebab saya panggil awak dalam hati
Bodohnya saya...

Awak tegur saya
Saya buat dunno
Tapi awak tak tahu happynya saya
Saya dengar awak cerita
Awak kata dah jatuh cinta

Sedihnya saya

Awak keluar tengok wayang
Saya pun
Awak keluar dengan dia
Saya tengok aje

Awak call saya
Mengacau betul
Tengah tidur lah
Saya layankan aje
Awak cakap awak dah putus
Saya senyum sampai ke telinga
Tapi awak tak nampak
Saya cakap...

Kesiannya awak...

Hipokritnya saya

Hari ni hari jadi saya
Tapi awak lupa
Saya sedih.
Tapi takpe, awak bukannya sesiapa

Awak mintak maaf
Saya senyum aje
Saya kata tak kisah
Awak belanja tengok national treasure
Isk tak romantiknya

Tapi best apa

Saya dapat bunga
Cantik. Suka sangat
Tapi tak tahu siapa pengirimnya
Awak nampak
Awak terus balik

Saya panggil awak
Tapi awak tak toleh
Saya cuma nak bagi tahu awak

!!!!!LORI!!!!!!!!!

Saya kejar awak
Awak terus jalan
Saya tolak awak
Awak jatuh.

Saya nampak lori
Betul-betul depan saya
Kalau sempat
Saya nak bagi tahu awak...

SAYA SAYANG AWAK

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

HUMOUR: of Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons: round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of willies are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!"

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

Saturday, October 01, 2005

HUMOUR: The Newly Weds

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old drinking buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, Malaysia, Thailand, Australia, Belgium, and etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, caviar, mushroom caps, grilled prawns and smoked salmon.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?...

"LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FRICKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER... GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice

HUMOUR: Maude and Claude

Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a retirement community. They met in the social centre and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.

After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. Despite his age, Claude was still a charmer. Afterwards, Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.

Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay. As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.

Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler."

Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose."

Copyright 2003-2005 Azlan Adnan Legal Notice